Archive for difficult times

Week 14…. positive mistaken identity

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , , , , on 13 April 2013 by misselisabethuk

This week has definitely been a week of personal progress, with an enjoyable positive outing with a friend and targets hit at work my motivation levels were up.  So I wanted to share with you something that happened to me this week, which on reflection was another personal growth moment.

Accosting a stranger (in the non-solicitous sense, obviously)…..

The first time it happened, a while back now, I mistook a man for a family member (seriously!).  I greeted him with something like “fancy seeing you here..”.  Now if I had addressed him in such a manner anywhere else other than at a station ticket machine it would have definitely been mistaken for a cheesy pick up line!  We both realised very quickly that clearly we didn’t know each other and after an apology given and accepted we carried on with our lives as if nothing had happened.  I was so embarrassed I had to put my head down and walk away very quickly, telling myself “that he DID have an uncanny resemblance to the person I thought it was”.  Almost coaching myself through the shock of the whole experience and not really thinking about how I may have affected the other person.

This week another mistaken identity situation happened, I quickly said “Sorry I thought you were someone else” they laughed, I laughed and we walked our separate ways.  It didn’t help that this time it was NOT just a “Hi, how are you?”.  I was so sure that this person was who I thought it was, I went in with “Chatting up young men, again!” as she stood with a tall young man.  Ok, so, I probably apologised more than once on this occasion and thankfully her laughing meant she wasnt going to call the police.  ‘Mistaken identity eh?!’, I thought.

The embarrassed feeling this time, however, didn’t last as long as that first time.  I came to terms with what had happened a lot quicker, the recovery from the incident seemed to pass almost immediately, so it got me thinking…

How does a distraught experience first time round actually become a comfortable feeling in the end, speaking to a complete stranger for no reason, and thinking there’s an opportunity to make new connections here.  From a first case of mistaken identity to maybe a mechanism for easily starting up a conversation with someone you do not know.  By engineering that first contact by using the method of mistaken identity, where people are more likely to be open-minded as they were not the person you were expecting them to be, could give us all an opportunity to make new connections. Definitely a less confrontational way of approaching someone and depending on the person’s response you could at the last-minute decide to pursue or bail out.

The moral of my story is that first experiences however awkward they may feel at the time can become a more comfortable situation.  The more you experience the same situation, the more you can acclimatise yourself to that negative feeling so in the end it doesn’t feel so bad.

This can translate to all parts of your life, just remember the first time is the most special it opens a door to a whole new opportunity/possibility.  So instead of feeling awkward, feel achievement that you accomplished it.  Think how you can use this newly gained positive energy to propel yourself forward to your next first.

Have a great day and please do share your firsts with me, my door is always open..

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With my tail between my legs…

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , on 17 February 2013 by misselisabethuk

Week 7 – With my tail between my legs I return to my Blog and apologise to my regular followers for not being here.  My ‘Blog a week’  was harder to make time for than I had expected and so I disappeared online for a few weeks but I am back.  There has been a lot going on in my life.  Time was needed for some quiet contemplation and for decisions to be made.

So I have decided when time is short a short Blog entry is acceptable.  I wanted to provide a long witty informative narrative of my life each week but sometimes just a small ‘Hi’ is just as good to keep in touch.

I had assigned Saturday mornings for my Blog but some weeks this ‘me’ time had been hijacked by family and friends, who needed my help and for whom I gladly gave up my Blog slot for.  This meant that I felt that the time had passed and that I had ‘missed the boat’.  So my aim will be to Blog regularly but not necessarily at a fixed time.  Harder for you to keep track of me but be assured that any comments you leave I will respond to.

This past week has been busy, in fact I have decided that this level of work/stress (?!) must be the norm now.   Never a trough always a peak!  As a result my attitude to work has changed slightly with more of an emphasis on small steps and a prioritised ‘To-do-list’ of 4 or 5 items.  This way it is easier not to get bogged down in everything that needs to be done.

Over the last few weeks I have been suffering intermittent insomnia and a general malaise, thinking about my purpose in life and future direction.   I think this comes with the aging process and getting to the point in your life when you think you’d better hurry up and achieve something or it will be too late.  Silly of me to think when I have achieved so much more in my life already than some people would in their lifetime but I have a constant drive to achieve, learn and be challenged which will just not go away.  I guess you are either born with it or not, I’m sure some psychologist could tell me.

Have I come to any answers, not yet.  Without a clear direction and focus decisions cannot be made so here I stand in limbo and here I shall remain until such time as my destiny become clear.

If you have any experiences that you have gone through that you think may help me on my journey, please do share them.

Until next time, I hope you all have an interesting and challenging week.  Peace!

So…. that was the week, that was…..

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on 12 January 2013 by misselisabethuk

Morning, hope you are all feeling good today…well, what a week that was!

Certainly 2013 has decided to go in all guns blazing but so far it hasn’t materialised in to the obligatory showdown.

Second weekly blog of my 2013 goal and so far I’m still committed to the cause.  Although, when you have had a busy week and feel so tired you could sleep in until midday (although those days are long gone) it becomes a little harder to get motivated.

To help with my motivation, “what’s my motivation” I ask, I decided to treat myself this week and purchased a 7″ tablet, with the idea of blogging on the go, catching up with missed tv programmes etc.  I have a lot of dead travelling time, just under 3 hours a day now, so although a bit of an extravagance (I hardly treat myself and I mean really treat myself, anything over £30 is a big purchase for me), on balance I could justify the money spent on this gadgety gadget.

Back to the events of this week….

The first week back in the new year in any office is always hectic. The repetitive sounds of “Happy New Year” and everyone regaling stories of their christmas break and the adventures they have had with family and friends.

Some, however, were not so lucky spending most of their holiday time suffering from either flu-like symptoms or worse, being house bound requiring certain facilities to be on hand 24-7 (het hem).  Some selective hearing was required for those stories!

And then there were others, like me, who had worked over the Christmas period, so when asked whether I had had a good break I simply replied, “Well, it wasn’t really a long break, I was working”, all of a sudden I became some kind of leper, the conversation was cut short and they moved on to the next person with a story to tell.

It made me smile inside as I was all ready to tell them about the drama caused by a payment being made twice in error, the achievement of getting signoff on a project with a fixed deadline with limited signatories available and the excitement of putting a new process in place, whist they were drinking and eating to excess, but they didn’t really seem that interested.

By midweek the chat about the recent festivities had dissipated with the realisation that work had to be done and deadlines had to be met.  For me it was business as usual.  Although I did keep wishing the same people Happy New Year via email which probably annoyed them but was a source of amusement for me.

Wednesday was my Dad’s birthday so a present and card were delivered and another year noted, nothing special as he has a significant one next year.  Anyway, the anticipation of receiving my new tablet was excitement enough for me for one week!  I always wondered if people who have birthdays very near another significant celebration, especially the two biggest of the year Christmas and New Year, in some way feel that they lose out on either time, gifts, visits etc.  One day I’ll ask my Dad that question…

To finish the week off, and me, I had a mentoring meeting in preparation for a project due to start next week.  To my horror was told I am now giving a presentation, in part, to 28 secondary school children, so I now know what I have planned for the rest of my weekend!  They say it’s all in the preparation…. we’ll see.

Which brings you right up to date.  The prospect of next week is daunting but I’ve learnt a few things which will help; write a to-do-list (to keep focused), take one day at a time (priorities always change), smile when you really want to shout (better for your vocal chords) and don’t eat yellow snow (that’s worth mentioning if the weather forecasts are to be believed).

So this is me signing off for another week.  I hope you all have a great weekend and have a challenging, positive and productive week, next week.  Laters…

Numb – Day 3

Posted in Numb with tags , , , , , on 24 December 2012 by misselisabethuk

Today was like an out of body experience, detached, mostly due to my recent lack of sleep.

Watching people going about their business, I stood mute without senses.

My puffy eyes started to go down and I hardly cried at all today.

The heaving crying has now been replaced by deep sighing.

I was very quiet today. Completely out of sorts. Lost.

Questions now occupy my mind, why? when? how? If?

Will I ever be myself again…..?

Numb – Day 2

Posted in Numb with tags , , , , , on 23 December 2012 by misselisabethuk

My face is swollen today from crying most of yesterday.

My heart aches. I’m in an emotional fog.

I exhale and my breath hangs in the air.

I am in slow motion, whilst the world around me rushes past.

Go on, make someone’s Christmas….

Posted in General Scribbings with tags , , , , , , , on 21 December 2012 by misselisabethuk

I was asked recently by a friend what I wanted for Christmas and I paused for thought….

Over the last few years Christmas has taken on a different meaning for me. Every year Christmas seems to start earlier and every year I refuse to acknowledge its existence until at least November. Being a September baby it seems no sooner am I recovering from my birthday that Christmas is raising it’s ugly, commercial head.

Don’t get me wrong I enjoy having a reason to get together with family and friends but it’s a sad state of affairs that it takes Christmas for some people to make the effort to come together, when for the rest of the year they are immersed in their own lives and day-to-day issues without a second thought to those people. It takes 5 minutes to make a connection and could make someone’s day or even week.

So when asked what was on my list, I told them I didn’t have a list and this is why. I feel privileged to have everything I need and when I think about the millions of people who are without a roof over their head or food, having a list doesn’t feel quite right.

Christmas for me is about (but not limited to) the quality time you spend with the people in your life. It’s about smiling and putting a smile on other people’s faces. It’s about sharing joy and compassion with your fellow human beings. It’s also a time to remember that this should not be limited to a couple of weeks a year, that there are 52 weeks in which you can make a difference!

I wish you all a very merry Christmas and urge you to make a difference to even just one person because for them it could mean the world.

Let it flow…. Let it flow…. Let it flow

Posted in General Scribbings with tags , , on 19 September 2012 by misselisabethuk

I had always been worried about letting my ideas flow out, just in case they were the only ideas I would ever have.

As a result, I treated them as precious possessions not to be let out of my sight or shared with others, selfishly savoured.

Over the last year, or so, I have realised that if you have a creative mind, you will always have a creative mind.

For me, it’s the barriers that life presents to my happiness that pushes my creativity out of the way.

The bottom line is that I have to trust that my creativity is still there even through difficult times and I need to have faith that I can continue to provide topics that people want to read, in a way that is true to myself and that hopefully contains a bit of wit.

Hope you are having a good evening!

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