Archive for help

Mind the Track…

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , on 11 August 2013 by misselisabethuk

This week (week 32) I wanted to cover a difficult subject, depression.   Following congestion on the underground due to a person under a train on the Victoria Line this week, I got thinking, why would someone do that?  The only two reasons I could come up with were, that it was an unfortunate accident or that it was intentional.

Which got me thinking about why someone would take their own life.  Wasn’t it avoidable? Where were the person’s family and friends?  What was so bad that their life was a worthy price to pay for the pain or trauma they were feeling, without seeking help?  Probably all the questions their nearest and dearest ask after such a tragedy.

I have had the horrible experience of having a good friend of mine meet his end prematurely due to being hit by a train in a tragic lack of judgement, a drunken accident if you will.  The impact of a life being extinguished prematurely in such a way ripples right through a community of friends (past and present), family, work colleagues, other parties; banks, mortgage providers, council tax, utilities, I could go on but the immense network of events triggered by the loss of just one life is huge.  It sets in motion a series of consequential actions, which can be very far-reaching with varying degrees of impact.

So to turn to those who feel that they have no other option but to take their own life.  Depression is a very dark and lonely place, where normal levels of perspective is distorted.  People who suffer from depression can on a daily basis ‘seem’ very upbeat and positive, and that’s possibly why sometimes the condition can remain concealed.  The mind is a complex area so I don’t want to appear to be generalising and am clearly no expert, but I wanted to provide some food for thought from the examples I have personally witnessed.

I think, in some cases, people who are depressed have not recognised what they are going through and fight against the feelings of loneliness, anxiety and hopelessness, as they cannot comprehend why they would have these feelings as their lives in general will be ok.   Depression is a condition that spirals downwards but can fluctuate rapidly upwards and downwards, it can be a rollercoaster of positivity and negativity even within the same moment.  Without the right level of support from the right people a person could go from ‘Hero to Zero’ to coin a phase some times very quickly.

It is usually accumulative, so to start it is triggered by a specific situation, maybe an argument, negative feedback, high expectations, bereavement to name a few.  The initial trigger is unlikely to be recognised as the start of depression, however, if other triggers happen in succession all of a sudden a state of depression is entered into.

Many people at the start of their depression become withdrawn, which is interesting as they will already have feelings of isolation and loneliness (no-one understands me) so by withdrawing they put themselves in exactly the situation which they feel and reinforces these feelings and this is how things start to spiral downwards.

Good supportive friends and family will force their loved one to go out and be included in activities, which then reverses any feelings of loneliness even if only temporarily it could reverse the depressive downward spiral.  It also opens the door to share what’s on their mind, talking is key to recovery – a problem shared is truly a problem halved.  I am not suggesting the issues faced are small and inconsequential far from it but to share a problem, sometimes saying it out loud can put a different perspective on the issue faced.

Those at risk are those who do not have this support network or those who feel they can cope and go down the road of concealment, which can be very self-destructive and I would urge against this course of action.  For those without support please contact a charity, such as the Samaritans, who are qualified to offer such support, there is always someone you can talk to.

My conclusion for this week is that I need to be supportive of friends and family and be aware that just because someone is wearing a smile on their face it doesn’t mean that everything is smelling of roses.

Until next week have a good one and if you are feeling a bit down, please speak to someone about it!

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Music….. Aspire to Inspire

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on 20 April 2013 by misselisabethuk

Another weekly Blog is upon us and I have to say that week 15 has actually been one of the better weeks for me so far this year, which doesn’t really seem fair with all the atrocities and injustices happening elsewhere in the world.

So first I would like to send my thoughts and love to all those affected this week, not only in Boston but all over the world where people have died needlessly at the hands of some cause or another.  I, therefore, take a moment to remember them and reflect……..

Ok so let’s go back to Monday, if you will, the weather was good. I think we have finally had spring sprung upon us in the UK, after the weeks of on and off snow showers, cold winds and dark nights; the garden plants are starting to grow and the garden seems a much more welcoming place.  This ‘new start’ time of year coupled with good weather helps to keep your spirits up especially with the thought that summer is just around the corner.  Well, we are all keeping our fingers crossed it is.

So at the start of any new week many challenges lay ahead and you may be wondering how things will pan out, it’s a good question to ask yourself. Remember, you have the ability to mould and control what happens to you, so how you react to a challenge or situation will determine which path you will go down next.   I think the key is that you keep a positive open mind, plan for the best, expect the worst and you shouldn’t be disappointed

I have to say in my own life there has been a definite sea change of late with the small steps I have been making to improve my life and my prospects.  All these small decisions I am making are necessary steps and building blocks to changing the bigger picture, my future.   What I have also found particularly this week is that this positivity and focused mindset also rubs off on others.  They see you setting goals and your growing determination to make things different and they start to think what they could do to make some changes, put in place some goals. [Note: You cannot achieve a goal without giving yourself a deadline which is stretching but also realistic.]  And as a result this actually further increases the positivity around you and spurs you on to do more in the pursuit of change and personal growth.  When this happen you know you are building momentum towards a significant change….

I had my first music lesson this week after a long break, about 25 years (showing my age), which went well and I felt encouraged that I still knew a bit of the theory I had learnt all those years ago.  It felt a bit like getting back on a bike after a considerable time away. You sort of know what you are doing but the coordination has gone and the exact technique buried.   But, after a while the embedded skills you learnt return and it’s like you had never stopped.  I hope this happens with my piano playing!

Going off piste for a moment… Remember me telling you I bought a tab to ‘Blog-on-the-go’ well, I am having a few teething problems around using the onscreen typing pad with Polaris.  Hopefully I will get used to it as it’s a great gadget to write on.  Being able to produce a piece of text without any errors is proving to be challenging, editing ability is difficult, and I have to resort to finishing up my pieces on my laptop … I feel a bit of a review coming on.

Another first for me this week was that I gave a CV writing skills session to a class of 25 eleven year olds as a volunteer, which was really insightful, rewarding, challenging and definitely another grow point on my path to a better me.  I would really encourage anyone who has a spare hour or two to get involved in some sort of volunteering, you get so much out of it and so do the people you help.  It also helps to open up your people network and who knows what other opportunities that will bring…

Well, that’s me done for another week.  Hope you all have a great day with lots of positivity and if you feel like you need inspiring, look in the mirror as everything you need to succeed in life is looking right back at you!

A reason, a season or a lifetime…

Posted in Weekly Wonderings with tags , , , , , , , on 23 February 2013 by misselisabethuk

Week 8 and this poem sums up what this week has meant for me.

I have been getting more involved with mentoring/coaching and have come to value the new relationships i have built, albeit sometimes brief. To support another person in their personal growth is very rewarding. Some people need a role model, confidant, someone they can talk to who really wants to help and doesn’t judge. And in return I find I always learn something about myself which obviously adds to my personal growth.

A well-distributed poem and one that i am sure you have come across before. Please read and enjoy. Learn from each person you meet and life becomes far more rewarding.

A reason, a season or  lifetime..

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. 

When you figure out which one it is,you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

Have a great week and I’ll be back to share more with you next week.

Orange-faced Girl

Posted in Time for Change with tags , , , , , , , , , , on 24 November 2012 by misselisabethuk

Hey girl!  You are young, with beautiful clear white skin, so why do you wear that mask of orange?

You must have been brain-washed by all these make-up ads telling you to wear the make-up of make-up artists, and such like.

But no make-up artist are you.  So lacking in make-up skills that the stroke marks from the brush you used to apply your foundation are still clearly visible.  Did you apply it in a dimly lit room without a mirror?

Your friends, who are they?  I need a word with them!  How can they let you walk around like that?

I stood and watched as the young smiley girl approached a group of hoodied teenage girls who sat on a park bench.  She was greeted with warmth.  She had friends.  I was relieved.

Although still a little confused as to the war-paint look, I carried on walking, past the group of girls on the bench.  As I did, I then understood.  A group of orange faces peered out from their hoodies as I walked past.

 

Question:  Have you ever followed the crowd to fit in?

 

 

Crossing the line…

Posted in I'm dying here.... with tags , , , , on 11 September 2012 by misselisabethuk

Jacket too big, skinny man, so small,
waiting for that train, your world so small.

What makes a difference to your life’s routine,
standing on the platform waiting for that train.

“Wait!”.  You hear it now chugging down the track,
too late, you step out, nothing left… just black!

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